neil/21/ohio

i love peeing outside actually and i’m glad that i can do that now that i live in basically the woods. i used to just pee outside when someone was in the bathroom but now i just pee outside all the time

neils-super-cute-roommate:

grinderman2:

the last 2 times my housemate’s mom came over i didn’t know she was coming and the first time i was in my room with the door open listening to god help the girl and doing pushups and she saw me, and the second time i was peeing on the compost pile and she saw me

NEIL WHERE DID U PUT COMPOST PILE

just off the back porch on the side without the steps!

the last 2 times my housemate’s mom came over i didn’t know she was coming and the first time i was in my room with the door open listening to god help the girl and doing pushups and she saw me, and the second time i was peeing on the compost pile and she saw me

girl: come over
me: but i’m a hawk and there is this weird tube between us
girl: my parents aren’t home
me:

I smell the pine trees and the peaches in the woods
I see the pine cones that fall by the highway
That’s the highway that goes to the building
I pick the building that I want to live in

ochem is really hard anyhow but everyone else in my class are annoyingly well-adjusted type a pre-med students and im just some dumb constantly stressed kid who has to pass this class for no reason so i can get paid to stand in swamps all day instead of doing that for free like i would be doing now if i werent in this stupid class!

i love how predators such as ladybugs are being touted as “chemical-free pest control” for your garden… as if ladybugs themselves weren’t made almost entirely of chemicals -_-

time to play “is that an insect or a bead of nervous sweat slowly moving down my back”

fractured-psyche:

grinderman2:

waiter: ready for the check?

customer: as a male feminist who loves eating pussy, yes that would be great

…what? lol

i said i’m a male feminist who loves to eat pussy… got a problem with that? that’s probably why i’m doing so much better with the ladies than you… if there’s one thing i’ve learned from being a male feminist who loves to eat pussy, it’s that ladies love a man who is a male feminist and loves to eat pussy. you’re adding nonsense to my post and i’m over here scoring 4, maybe even 5 dates a week… ladies notice me for my beard first but when they find out i’m a male feminist who loves to eat pussy then they’re hooked. all the ladies are jumping on this train… a train i like to call the “wanting to bone male feminists who love to eat pussy” train. i hope one day you grow up and realize that what women are really attracted to is respect…